Bouquets

I would just like to congratulate Nina Hartley and Randy Spears who were recently inducted into the Hustler Hollywood walk-of-fame.

Hartley has not only done alot for women in the adult industry, she is admired by many big name starlets (e.g Devinn Lane) today. She’s been in well over 600 adult titles, I’ve seen her on HBO’s Real Sex and other more mainstream productions; she’s a porn icon. As if that weren’t enough, she has sold over 400,000 copies of her instructional videos and DVDs for couples who want to be better lovers. That alone merits her induction.

I’ve always been a Randy Spears fan. In my opinion, he was - in an industry where the occasional guy becomes a superstar - one of the notable male porn performers in his day. It boggles my mind that he’s not on the AVN top 50 of all time. He’s been in so many classic and/or well known porn titles: Bella Loves Jenna, Splendor in the Ass (a movie that, incidentally, co-starred Hartley), The Masseuse. (The remake of this movie won for Best Film at the 2005 AVN awards.) Spears was an adult film fixture from the late 80s to the mid 90s. To me, the man has always been a consummate pro.

“Whatever happened to…?”, Part I: Speaking of late 80s/ early 90s porn, I remember how I used to secretly watch Ebony Ayes, Janette Littledove, and Nina dePonca movies in my father’s house, as a teenager. One time, when I thought he was sleeping (he worked the latter two shifts every day), I started masturbating to one of their movies right there in the living room; it was about 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I must’ve been moaning too loud… Let’s just say he woke up and made me get a job.

Anyway, they were such beautiful women of color. Where are they now?

(Do) I Want My XTV (?)

I don’t know what to make of XTV. For those who don’t know, XTV is the adult equivalent of cable or satellite TV. XTV consists of a little black box that goes on top of your TV and hooks into it. The box receives a high speed cable connection through which adult content, exclusively, is pumped in. It costs $29.95 a month, with hardware - remote, the black box, etc - costing extra (total of about $180).

The content is akin, to a certain degree, to that provided by your local cable/satellite company. There are over 50 channels, each devoted to an aspect of porn. In effect, there’s an anal channel, a bondage channel, etc. These would be analogous to, say, the Food Network and ESPN, as far as niche cable/satellite channels are concerned.

There’s live programming; web cam theaters where you can call in. There are even pay-per-view movies you can order for additional fees. And unlike with regular cable, you can re-watch any movie that you’ve rented in the past as many times as you like, for free. As long as you remain a subscriber, of course. Also, unlike with cable TV, there’s interactive content: sex games, if you will.

For those of you with niche pornographic ADD, this might be the solution that you are looking for. For the price that you’d pay for an online membership, you get a broader range of genres than that offered by your typical paysite. And since the average TV screen is larger than a computer monitor, the porn is more in your face. But those of you who are avid adult DVD and video collectors already knew that.

So if you like your porn larger than life, why not subscribe to Playboy and/or Spice channels? While Playboy channel doesn’t show you the hardcore, explicit stuff, Spice does. And where I live, the two channel package costs only $21 a month. But I don’t know that Playboy/Spice gives you an interactive component.

Speaking of interactivity, the one aspect of XTV that could put it over the top - in the minds of a lot of pornophiles who are considering subscribing - is the live web cam. In the past, I’ve both purchased minutes and been retro-actively billed for the pleasure of conversing with cam girls who took “requests”. Believe me, a 15-minute session can cost a lot. If the monthly subscription price includes unlimited - or at least a substantial amount of - web cam conversation minutes, many guys would sign up yesterday.

So as a porn consumer considering XTV, you should ask yourself three questions:
1. How much porn do I intend to watch?
2. What are my tastes? and
3 Am I looking for something “X”-tra?

If you’re going to subscribe to a paysite, you could do worse than plop down $30 a month for a little variety in your programming. Throw in some interactivity and guarantee that live cam girls are included - and that’s a big assumption - and you have yourself a winner. XTV service is available now, but the cam girls won’t be available for another six months, so stay tuned.
Or not.

Tera-fied!

In case you couldn’t tell by my home page, I’m a big Tera Patrick fan. Her movie, Reign of Tera, recently came out on video and DVD. Judging by the trailer, it’s hot.

If you have any sort of fascination with Asian women, you owe it to yourself to buy or rent this movie.

And if you’re a big Tera Patrick fan like myself, go on over to her official website, ClubTera. I recently bought a trial membership there ($4.95 for 3 days), and I must say the site is a dream.

I did a little math: There are 15 pages containing 12 galleries apiece. Each gallery has an average of 30 pics, so that’s 5400 pics. And those are just pictures of Tera. All of her famous magazine pictorials - those in Club International, Hustler, Genesis, Penthouse, Playboy - are included . Needless to say, the quality of the pictures is excellent; the wall paper section is sheer eye-candy.

Now, I know what some of you guys are thinking, and I’ve thought along similar lines myself. “It sounds great, but I don’t want to see all of those photos of just one chick.” Not a problem. As a matter of fact, there are more total pics of others than of Tera herself. Her “friends” galleries, conservatively, contain another 30,000 pics (no lie)! Who are her friends, you ask? Jodie Moore, Krystal Steal, Briana Banks, Brittany Luv, Tawny Roberts, Isabella, Jenna Jameson, Alexa Rae, I could go on. You get all of that with just a trial membership.

Full membership ($29.95) entitles you not only to full-length videos of Ms. Patrick, but entire videos in several different niches: black, anal, college co-eds, Asian, lesbian, etc. Oh, and did I mention that full membership gives you complete access to the Hustler great eight signature websites? That’s Barely Legal, Asian Fever, Hardcore Pix, Hustler Sluts, Huge Tits, Girl Next Door, Leg Fetish, and Girl on Girl. To reiterate what I said in a previous entry, content-wise, no one puts it down like Hustler.

(And just between you, me, and the lamppost, if you upgrade to full membership just before your trial membership ends, you get ten dollars off the next month’s price. Just don’t tell anyone that I told you that. :))

Sex Toy Utopia

Dateline: Feb 4, 2005, Athens, OH - Lois McBeath of Tasteful Treasures Inc. provides examples of her Tasteful products - at one of the regular sex toy parties at Ohio University. Women of all ages and classes, and women from a neighboring university attend.

Dateline: March 8, the corner of 45th St and 11th Ave, New York - Porn director Candida Royalle teaches a new sex toy education class at the swank Penthouse Executive Club. A handful of women sip champagne and pass around “samples” during the class.

Dateline: March 9, An apartment close to the Michigan State University campus, MI - Michelle Brittain, a consultant for Pure Romance Inc, hosts an in-home sex toy party. An intimate gathering of ten close friends and co-workers listen in rapt attention.

Believe me, I’m all for removing the stigma of using sex toys. In fact, I’d always wished more of the women I used to date a decade ago in college had brought toys into the bedroom (it would have meant less work for me, hehe).

So, where were these classes when I was in college? The prevailing opinion that I used to get from young, college age women was that they had no use for sex toys. Indeed, a recent study showed that it was women 25-34 who were most likely to have ever used a sex toy; an age range that went beyond the normal undergraduate demographic.

Did Sex and the City, and shows such as that, have that big an impact on women’s perception of sex toys? I remember seeing this one woman (her name escapes me for the moment) on HBO’s Real Sex, and she gave sex toy demonstrations professionally. But that was 5-7 years ago, and she was just one lone voice orgasming in the wilderness. Now look how far women’s sexuality has come in our society (minus Georgia, Alabama, and Texas).

I guess Tupperware is for the birds. Now there are other hard, plastic devices women are looking to store. ;)

Who Wants to be a Pornstar?

Ron Jeremy was to give a speech in front of the Oxford Union debating society in London last week. Even though he cancelled, the society hopes to get him within the next three months. If he eventually makes the speech, he would join Jenna Jameson as the only other adult performer to have spoken there. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that speech.

First audience question: “Is it hard doing what you do ?”.(*crowd snigger*)

Jeremy‘s answer: “Well, there’s a lot of ins and outs…” (*crowd giggling*)

Young male admirer: “I just want to say, I’m a big fan of yours and I think you’re doing a bang-up job.” (*audience guffaw*) “Keep it up.” (*snicker*)

In all seriousness, Jeremy is one of the -if not the- top-ranked porn stars of all time, males and females included. Interestingly enough, two of the top three adult performers of all time are men, according to AVN. And this is in a female-driven industry.

That reminds me, I had an idea for an adult-themed reality gameshow, sort of like The Apprentice. It would be called The UpandCummer, and it would air, for obvious reasons, on either HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, Playboy channel, or Spice channel. The contest would be open to men from 18 to 25 who are trying to become the next big male pornstar. Like the next Lex Steele.

Contestants would vie, ultimately, for a studio contract, a free blowjob from a female porn star of their choice, a convertible, and a condo in the San Fernando Valley (where the bulk of porn is filmed, for those who don‘t know). Weekly reward prizes could include getting to eat more pussy in a scene, a hand job from a female co-star, and a photo-shoot for Hustler -or other major- magazine.

The rewards challenges, among others :
1. stamina and endurance- seeing who can hump the longest before becoming tired;
2. length of time needed to make a woman orgasm;
3. seeing who can stay erect the longest amount of time.

The immunity challenges would be 1 all the way up to 6 money shots a day; measuring factors like
1. amount of cum;
2. distance;
3. precision -coming (or should I say “cumming”?) as close as possible to a mark;
4. timing - cumming, as close as possible, on cue.

There would be a female and a male co-host. The male co-host would be a male star who’s been in the industry for a while and who has been a top performer himself. For example, Sean Michaels, Peter North, Randy Spears, or Jonathan Morgan. But, I think the logical choice for male co-host would have to be Jeremy. After all, who’s had more cum shots on camera than Jeremy? He has over 1700 film credits, for goodness sake!